Look, a shiny rock!

I recently heard someone referred to has having "shiny rock syndrome". At first I thought this was a humorous description and immediately conjured images of a magpie doing whatever it could to get that "shiny thing that caught it's eye". When I mentioned it to my husband he commented that "we all are like that" and it got me to thinking about all the times I have gotten distracted from something by that shiny rock that caught my eye. For me this is not a hard thing to do - I tend to be somewhat ADD. I once saw a shirt that said "I'm not ADD, it's just that ... Oh, look a rabbit!" I'm afraid this rather describes me to a T. But I digress... How many times have we abandoned something mundane for something more exciting, something humdrum for something interesting, something difficult for something less taxing? This has brought to my mind several things that I have had "shiny rock syndrome" about lately. I especially am thinking about some church issues. I have not put forth the effort lately to insist on going to church - sure I have missed it but I have enjoyed sleeping in on Sunday mornings too. I have still read my Bible and prayed and continued my relationship with God but have not sought out to continue my relationship with his people. . ."shiny rock syndrome". I have let slide some household duties because there are other distractions in my life right now - including this blog which I am writing instead of unloading the dishwasher or sweeping the floors. As I think about the shiny rocks that distract me in my life I hope that I will still be able to notice them but not be so distracted by them that I lose my focus.

Love is. . .

Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit. — Peter Ustinov

Wow! How insightful. As a human with skin, I know I do millions of things daily which require someone to forgive me. I don't do most of them intentionally but they happen none the less. What a wonderful capacity to have to love, to forgive endlessly. I am constantly amazed by God's capacity to love us - to forgive us endlessly for our humanity and continue to give us good things as His children. I am fully dependent on him for my peace and happiness in this tumulteous world we live in and I am thankful for His love!

Admiration and Awe

I added a new link/friend to my list today. "We are singing in the house of the Lord" is the blog of a former co-worker. I am in awe and admiration for anyone who can say yes with such dedication when God calls her to do something so monumental. She is living and teaching in Africa for the next 2 years. Wow, what a leap of Faith! I have had some similar though not as awe-inspiring opportunities in my younger years to step out and lean on God and I was too afraid. I don't feel that way anymore but I haven't had to test it lately either. Please join me in praying for my friend in her work with street kids in Kenya.

Thank you Lord for people who say yes when you call them and I pray that when you call me I will trust you enough to say yes too.

My Dad

My Dad is an amazingly strong man. He has not only survived an unbelievably horrific accident but he is making progress that is breath-taking to behold. Last night he played 2 hands of Canasta with me. This in itself is amazing as just 2 weeks ago he was still in ICU. Just 2 weeks from tomorrow his trach was removed - he is talking up a storm. His speech is a little slurred but getting better all the time. It still possesses that weak, frail quality that matches his fragile condition but this is a man of incredible fortitude. He has had his moments when we all have shaken our heads and wondered how things were going to come out, but we have also had moments of immense thankfulness. I only wish I could see the end of the journey so that I could give him the proper hints along the way. He has many longings right now that I don't know how to answer. He wants to go home to Winnsboro, he wants to be able to drive a car, he wants to go visit Crossroads where he has enjoyed many evenings and "they all talk to me and are so nice". He wants to eat food and drink diet Dr. Pepper; he wants his hand to work right and his brain to get better. He still cannot sit up without getting dizzy and "throwing up. . . not quite, but almost". Oh, but he has come such a long way and we know he is "in there" - the man we love still inhabits the body he was born with. He is and isn't the same man. Right now he is more emotional than I have ever know him to be but he is also as onery and stubborn as he always was. He is fascinating to watch right now as he works through the events surrounding him - very childlike yet much more insightful. I am happy that things are going so well right now, I'm prepared for the steps backward but right now I'm enjoying the growth toward the person he will become.

A heartfelt apology to some -

One of my last postings may not have made sense to some who have read my blog. I am upset about a situation involving my church and people who I thought were my friends. I was not directing my comments to those who are really my friends - and you know who you are! I have some very good friends who I keep in touch with over email but those same friends would not hesitate to pick up the phone and call me at the first sign of my deep need for personal contact. As I have said before I am getting tired of people who have all the techy toys and won't use the human touch any more. It is a sad reflection of the evolution of our world. We will all soon be in our little cubicles with no human contact for the majority of our lives, technology will consume our waking hours and we will become little less than robots. I personally crave the phone calls and better yet the lunch dates with good friends, just to talk and catch up on life. That doesn't mean don't email me but just know I love the sound of your voice!

Today I am sad.

I really don't know how to adequately put into word how sad I am right now. If I could crawl in a hole right now I would gladly do so and possibly never come out. I am only surviving all the sadness in my life right now because of the grace of God my father. I previously posted about my parents accident and my husband's health issues. I did not elaborate on the whole "remodeled bathroom" issue except to say that we were ripped off not once but twice and now we are tossed away by our "church family" like an old rag. I am torn between agonizing sadness and furious rage. I know that people are people and far from perfect but I am so tired of Chirstians being the worst at the very thing they are supposed to be the best at: love and compassion. In our technological world we have all become dependent on that thing which seperates us - technology. Communication which should be at it's best now is breaking down because so many of us choose to only communicate through instant messages, email or blogs. I know I'm blogging now, but I assure you I choose my words very carefully and this will have been re-edited several times before I am satisfied that it truly expresses the ideas and emotions I am feeling at this moment. I understand the power of the written word. It truly is a double edged sword and there are many unskilled swordsmen out there.

I am tired of people not calling one another on the telephone. I want to hear the emotion in the voice on the other end of the line. To heck with the cost of minutes or whether it is a long distance call - I want to hear your concern, your tears, your joy and I want someone to hear mine. My husband is so much support to me when I am down but I would much rather talk to my friends than just an email. Now that is not to say that email is not ok but I had so wanted to hear from some of my so called "church friends" but that was not to be. Oh, there are some that claimed to have called several times but phone records can prove otherwise, caller ID does not lie.

I guess what is truly amazing to me is that my "work family" (who also happens to be a Christian bunch) has been so much more supportive and has stepped up to the plate in trying to do what they can during a really tough time. I have felt so much love from the people I see at work than from those I see at church that it is truly amazing. God has really blessed me with a wonderful place to spend so much time every day. I realize that God blesses me in places I least expect it. It is just sad to me that the place I expected it was the place from which I have recieved hostility instead of love.

Sigh......

Just a thought: I was just reading my sister-in-laws blog and thinking I am neglecting mine. She posts much more frequently than I. My husband also post to his blog with more regularity than I post to mine. Am I neglectful of my blog? Is there are reader out there who is malnourished because I post infrequently? I hope not.

I saw a quote today that I have seen a million times before but it particularly struck me today.
"Whether we look or whether we listen, we hear life murmur, or see it glisten." - James Russel Lowell
This struck me today in view of all the occurances in the last 2 weeks. My husband has had 3 serious allergic reactions to prescribed medication. My father was at death's door and still is too close to it to feel comfortable. This simple quote is pregnant with so much of what I have seen and felt in the recent past. We have to look and listen because those murmurs and glistenings are soft and quiet and easy to miss or take for granted.

I think I'll ponder on that for a while.

The last 6 months of Hell!

Where to begin . . .I guess it began with getting ripped off by con artist construction guys. We needed to remodel our bathrooms and went through the usual process of getting bids. We decided on one we liked and paid half to start the project with there remainder due on completion. Well the starting day came and went and no work began. After a couple of weeks and a series of a couple hundred phone calls we determined that they had no intention of starting work and we were out a considerable chunk of money. We have since gotten with a lawyer and have papers to serve but can't find the guys. That was a bad June. In July we gave in and contracted with some one from our church to do one of the bathrooms. We had gotten lots of assurances that he would do a good job and not take advantage of us before we finally gave in. Again one month later we were ripped off. He did not do a good job, grout is coming out from between the floor tiles which were not even laid right. The attention to detail is non-existant. He has said he was coming back to fix the 2 most major problems but it is now 3 months later and the problems have not been fixed. In the mean time it has caused some real problems for us with some of those people who assured us that hiring him was a good idea.

In the midst of all of this my beloved husband began having some health issues and was diagnosed with high blood pressure. The doctor put him on a medication and things seemed to be better, again, about 3 months ago. Well last week he had an allergic reaction to the medication which caused his uvula to swell to "8 times it's normal size" as quoted by the ear, nose and throat doctor he had gone to see because he thought it was really bad drainage and seasonal allergies. Two steriod shots and several antihistamins later we thought he was getting better but 2 days later we were in ER bacause he felt worse and was having the same swelling again. So once more 2 steriod shots and antihistimins later we again thought we were on the road to recovery. 2 days later came the sinus infection. Now I know things could be worse but that's not all of the story.

The Friday before the allergic reaction - Oct. 12, 2007 - my parents were in a near fatal accident as they traveled to a small East Texas town where they had a "retirement" house. The whole family was to gather there for a "family" thing with come cousins of my Dad's coming from out of town and we would be celebrating my eldest niece's 7th birthday. My husband and I were headed out after he got off work to pitch a tent in their back yard for the weekend and my brother and sister and their families were coming early Saturday morning. Anyway I had called Mom on her cell phone about 1:25 on Friday afternoon to ask a couple of questions before I went home and packed to be ready to go when my hubby got off work. I had only talked to Mom a couple of minutes and was getting ready to hang up with her when I heard a horrible noise and heard my Mom saying "oh, my God, oh God". Then I heard voices saying things like I'm calling 911 and then in a little bit something about Care Flight. I managed to stay connected for about 35 minutes before the phone went dead making a weird "broken" tone. In the mean time I had been Instant Messaging my hubby and he had been calling my brother and sister. We had also been trying to call Dad's cell phone. Finally my husband called Dad's phone again and got a highway patrolman who just told him there had been an accident and they had been Care Flighted to the best trauma center in the United States. Long story made at least a little shorter, Mom has a broken upper right arm and lots of bruising. She has developed cellulitus - a skin infection - in her left leg which was pinned under the dash. She will recover and be ok. Dad is in SICU at the best trauma center in the United States and I don't know if he will make it. He has multiple spine fractures. The ribs on his right side are broken, he had bleeding in the brain which now is controlled. He has a ruptured aorta which is only holding together by the connective tissue around the vessel. He has been running fever and may be getting pneumonia because he has been on a respirator. They put in a trachea tube and a feeding tube. Hopefully the trach tube will help him with the pneumonia. He will have to have major heart surgery either to put in a stint or a heart bypass in order to take care of the aorta. He has been kept pretty heavily sedated because they don't want him moving a lot and completely rupturing the aorta. He does hear us when we visit and has squeezed our hands. He is in a very delicate state and if he makes it has a long recovery ahead of him. When I visited last night he was more alert and was able to nod his head yes in answer to questions. He remembers some things from before the accident like the fact that his oldest granddaughter is in Brownies and from after the accident like the fact that my brother had been to see him yesterday morning. He cannot talk and his left side is much stronger than his right which is good since he is a lefty. He makes baby steps forward and we have had setbacks too, but I know all the prayers on his behalf have gotten him, and us too, through all of this to this point.

It has been Hell but it has also shown me that there are lots of people surrounding my family and myself who are loving, caring and supportive and without God's help and the love of his people this would have been even harder to deal with. Amen!

Lacy the Great Dane

On July 29th, we added to our growing canine brood. Lacy, a beautiful mantle Great Dane came to live with us. She is a doll in nearly ever sense of the word. A better puppy we could not have asked for. She is loving and good natured. She loves people and especially her "mommy" and "daddy". She is what is affectionately known as a "velcro dog" - she sticks to you. She helps me with all my household chores from trying to sweep the floor to trying to fold clothes. The couch has become her throne and we are her subjects. She is working on obedience training and is learning to fetch sticks.

We quickly acclimated her to travel by taking some day trips. The one to Turner Falls involved lots of new experiences the biggest one being swimming in the creek. She is quite a trouper. A trip to the lake for the baptism celebration of our church was fun too. Lots of people, petting, sights, smells and adventures. She began learning to fetch sticks with some very cute little boys who were quite taken with her enthusiasm.

Recently the nieces, three little girls age 6 and under came over to celebrate "Girl's Night". This is a celebration of girlness involving movies, candy, popcorn and painting fingernails and toenails and spending the night. It is celebrated while their beloved uncle is playing poker, and is capped off with waffles and playing with the dogs the next day. Well the youngest niece decided that she wanted to have Lacy as her buddy and Lacy was just fine with that. They set together and hung out together most of the evening until it was bedtime for Lacy.

We know there are some potentially serious health issues for Great Danes but if this pup is any indication of how wonderful they are as pets then we will treasure the years we have with her and will find another just as sweet when the time comes.
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